Mental illness; Is it time to accept some people will never 'get it'?
From misunderstanding the distinction between mental health and mental illness, to seeing mental illness as a choice, is it time to accept some people will never see our point of view?
Mental health as a concept is at the forefront of today’s culture. We see workplaces highlighting its importance, celebrities and influencers endorsing wellness, and some even opening up about their struggles with mental illness. But there are problems with aspects of this which have distorted the conversations we all need to have about mental health and mental illness.
Although there is another side to this. The concept of mental health and wellness makes money, with the worldwide mental wellness industry now a $121 billion market - so it's no wonder celebrities and influencers have jumped on this trend.
Unfortunately, though, we’re all going to encounter people who just don’t get it. Some people haven’t caught up yet; some refuse to listen or to change their views. Facing stigma is painful. It hurts us, and we should let people know.
Online advocacy has become tougher, with a divide which seems insurmountable. There have always been people discounting mental illness online - I should know; I’ve been vocal about mental illness since 2011, but I’ve seen a drastic increase in critical voices. From accounts telling me bipolar is a choice, that I can cure myself with proper diet and exercise, I’ve been duped by big pharma, to people straight up telling me mental illness doesn’t exist. Well, it’s a lot and one of the reasons I’m no longer so active on Twitter.
In the past, I may have argued or tried to get them to see reason, to look at the issue from a lived experience point of view like mine. But no longer. I understand people have been hurt by psychiatry and suffered adverse effects from medications. No one should ever deny another human being’s experience, and I would never expect or tell anyone to do something that previously caused them harm and trauma. The issue is when people with little to no first-hand experience of mental illness tell me and others like me that the help we’re receiving isn’t helping, and we should stop seeing our mental health teams and stop taking our medications.
Bitterly arguing and point-scoring does nothing to improve the care for the mentally ill. While our lives our put up for debate, we continue to sit on waiting lists that are now years long or provided care by understaffed mental health trusts, whose staff are overworked and at breaking point. It leads to vulnerable people giving up on finding support, it leads to mistakes, and tragically it’s leading to suicides.
When we need a ‘winner’ for each argument, when we have to score points and always be in the right, we lose sight of what matters when we’re discussing mental illness. Debate is good and drives innovation in care. What we need to centre in these debates is compassion and empathy for the patients who are shouting out for better support and care.
I think it’s time to stop debating with the people who will never understand. Some people, unfortunately, will never get it. Their views are so embedded they can’t see any other way. Why are we wasting our energy on people who either can’t or won’t listen? The type of person who is so dug in they will never hear any other point of view. You’re wrong in their eyes before you even open your mouth or start typing. It’s time to move on and focus on people who want to hear our stories and are genuinely open to learning and understanding. So I’m sticking to educating people who want to learn and having conversations with people who care enough to listen.