My family is full of late bloomers. My Dad got his degree in his mid-40s. My Mum started over and pursued a new career in her 40s and 50s. My Nan found her calling in helping run a community centre in her 70s. Hey, by today’s standards, so am I. My first book wasn’t published until I was 35. But really, the phrase ‘late bloomer’ I find insulting. It’s as if a person hasn’t lived until they’ve achieved in the eyes of our capitalist society. What you’re not seeing is how they got there. How their achievements are built on a foundation of lives lived, of tests and setbacks. Of tireless sacrifices and toil.
With 30 under 30 lists, we’re treating life as if it’s a race, as if achievements don’t matter unless you’re young. It’s part of an obsession with youth and yearning to stay young forever. We’re glorifying under 30 because we have a dysfunctional relationship with ageing. And I don’t want to be part of the race.
In a way, it’s also ableist. Living with a disability is rough, and I spend an inordinate amount of time on what I call ‘brain admin’. Booking appointments, chasing appointments, demanding appointments, rescheduling appointments whilst stuck on hold for eternity, and that’s all before even attending them. Navigating our health system is like trying to put a collar on my cat - almost impossible, unbelievably stressful and bad for your health. Then, of course, there’s the work of being ill. I didn’t have the time, the energy or the breathing space to even consider 30 under 30 lists. I was struggling to survive, taking it day by day but also trying to earn a living.
When I see people who have disabilities on these lists, I’m proud of what they’ve achieved; how could I not be? Although I do wonder how it’s viewed through the lens of the general public. Is it distorted, viewed as “well, if they can do it, what about everyone else? Why is that person with bipolar disorder not working? They’re young and fit. Surely, they can achieve just as much by that age or more!” It’s detrimental to other young people with disabilities, but at the same time, shouldn’t we be applauding people’s wins? That’s the crux of it - we should be congratulating all the wins, no matter when, what age, how big or small, how astounding or banal they are.
My Dad dropped out of school at 15 with no formal qualifications and worked long hours to provide for three kids before he even considered applying to university. My Mum worked and raised three kids, and both of my parents worked thanklessly as foster parents for 15 years. My Nan survived the Blitz and had to care for my Aunt, who developed severe learning disabilities. As for me, I dropped out of University and spent my teens and 20s severely mentally ill with undiagnosed bipolar disorder.
Age shouldn’t matter. As we grow older, we evolve, we learn and explore. Life for most of us isn’t a straight path, and I’m glad mine hasn’t been so far. It’s been squiggly and looks awkward and uncomfortable at times. Too often, we feel we should be following society’s blueprint of achievement, copying and pasting over our own lives. But we don’t need to.