101 Things No-one Tells You About Mania
It is more than just being happy
Mania makes me feel euphoric
Mania makes me feel constantly 'on' and ready
Mania makes me feel a constant sense of anticipation
Sufferers all have slightly different periods of hypomania and mania.
An episode could last days
An episode could last weeks
A hypomanic or manic episode could last months
Mania is not always fun
Mania can be frightening and make me feel completely out of control
Mania can make me delusional
Mania can make me feel furious at everyone and everything
Mania makes me feel irritable and restless to a point where I can no longer sleep
Mania will make me pace incessantly
I will feel that I constantly need to be doing something
Sometimes, mania makes me scratch and pick at my skin
Sleep deprivation is agony
Mania has put me in danger
I will have no fear
Fights will start with random people because I have no filter on what I say
I will get run over because I believe cars should stop for me
My driving will be reckless
I will crash my car and laugh hysterically while it's happening
I will believe I can drive like a racing driver
When manic, I'll drink and take other drugs excessively
I will drink a bottle of whisky in my flat alone just because I want to
When I'm manic I'll want sex all the time.
I will wake my partner up at four in the morning because I want sex
I will begin wild and whimsical projects that will take over my life
These projects will be left unfinished when mania turns to depression
I will be able to concentrate on projects for days on end
Projects will be so important I'll stay up all night - and then the next night
I will forget to eat for days at a time
I will not eat because I have more important things to do
I will go to the gym obsessively
I will not eat and exercise excessively
I will faint in the shower because I haven't eaten and have over exercised
I will lose the ability to understand the concept of money when I'm manic
I will constantly be in debt
I will spend hundreds of pounds on a pair of shoes anyway because I'm manic
I will stop paying bills because my memory is impaired
I will stop paying bills because I believe I don't need to
I will believe everything will sort itself out because I'm too important for anything bad to happen to me
Mania comes with its own special variety of intense anger that can't be satiated
I will punch holes in the wall so I don't punch someone I love
I will trash my possessions because the anger is too much
Relationships will end because of mania
The anger will cause me to lash out verbally and hurt the people closest to me.
Anger will cost me many opportunities in education and my career
I will neglect my job
I will regularly avoid attending appointments because I'd rather be doing what I want to do.
I will walk out of a college course because I clash with a lecturer
I will believe I'm better than everyone else.
I will believe I'm the smartest person in the room all the time.
My speech will be pressured
I will get annoyed when I speak too fast for people to understand
I won't realise I'm doing this and believe I'm acting perfectly normal
My thoughts will race constantly
I will get frustrated when people can't keep up with my train of thought
I will belittle people and call them stupid for not keeping up
I won't listen to anyone when I'm manic
I will believe my opinions are more important than anyone else's
No one can reason with me during mania
People will tell me I've upset them, and I'll laugh in their face
I will make people cry
Psychosis when I'm manic can spur me on to do even more dangerous things
Sometimes, I will secretly wish to be manic again
The come down from mania to depression will make me suicidal
After a manic episode ends, I will be completely and utterly exhausted
This exhaustion will lead to physical illnesses
You will take more time off school/work than any of your classmates/colleagues
My memory and concentration will be impaired
Medication is not a magic wand
Therapy is not a magic wand
There will be times when I will stop taking medication because I want to be manic again.
Withdrawal symptoms are worse than the flu
It will make me feel isolated and alone
Hearing people say 'I'm so Bipolar!' will set my teeth on edge
People will compare me to characters from tv and films depicted with bipolar
People will tell me they are jealous of the mania I experience
People will think I'm a creative genius
People won't believe I have bipolar because they haven't seen me in full blown mania
I will worry about people finding out and thinking I'm mad
I will worry about telling friends and family for fear they won't understand
Some people, who might be family or friends, will never understand
The acknowledgement I will never be able to change their opinions of the disorder is heartbreaking
I will worry about disclosing at an interview or when I start a job because they may find an excuse not to employ me
It will take years for me to be diagnosed
I will be tested for every physical ailment linked to depression and tiredness because I won't see a doctor when I'm manic.
Mental health professionals will have differing opinions about my care
I will have to adjust to the idea of living with the disorder for the rest of my life
After diagnosis, I will start identifying what triggers a manic episode
I will start to identify the warning signs of a manic episode
I will have to rely on friends and family to identify these warning signs
I will have to tell family and friends to tell me when I've upset them when I've been manic
I will spend time when I'm stable again apologising for my behaviour
I will learn that mania isn't an excuse for my behaviour but an explanation for it
I will learn I have to make lifestyle changes to be stable
I will learn that mania is self destructive
I will learn not to miss mania when I'm stable
I will learn to enjoy stability